Thursday 26 July 2012

When friendship ends...

This is a slightly personal post I guess you could say. The above is a quote from my favourite book 'The Perks of being a Wallflower' and I think it pretty much sums up how I am feeling at the moment. You see a good friend, well one of my oldest friends is getting married and I was not invited to the ceremony. It wasn't so much as not being invited that bothered me. It was more the question why? I understand that budgets are tight when it comes to weddings and therefore its not possible to invite all and sundry from a practical perspective. But as sad as it may seem I think it drew closure on what was a long friendship. You see my friend moved away a good few years ago. We kept in touch via the usual social media, Facebook etc and made the odd visit. But as time went on the contact got more infrequent and I am as much to blame for this. It got me thinking though, when is the time to break up with a friendship? Is distance really a good enough excuse? I do believe that the best friendships are those that can go for months without talking but then just pick up where you left off when you do meet. When it comes to relationships, if he's not the one we might have a little sob to our friends, dwell on where it went wrong and eventually move on. However I can't help thinking that with friendships its a tad different. Like all relationships they take effort, and that needs to come from both sides. If it is always one sided then one person is always going to end up getting burnt. I think in my current situation my friend and I are at completely different areas in life, our life's have taken different paths and whereas before we had a common ground, that seems to have been replaced by different interests which has led us to be different people today. I guess that happens with people that are friends from a young age, you change a lot over the course of years and somewhat lose what made you friends in the first place. I could easily sit here and say 'she has changed' and in some respects that's true. But so have I. And I guess we have just become the people we were destined to be and that does not mean that I do not care for her anymore it means that our lives have moved in opposite directions and perhaps there is not a place in either anymore.

So when a friendship does come to an end what do you do?